


Excuse You, but That's MY Wizard

by Sergeant_Sporks



Series: Small Stories from the Big Apple [2]
Category: Tales of Arcadia (Cartoons), Wizards: Tales of Arcadia
Genre: Abusive Customer, Angst, Gen, Protective Archie, because we all know that fast food employees are basically animals right?, bunch of fluff, douxie has to put up with a lot, douxie is hiding things again, ignore my sarcastic laughter, minor injury, no mom i'm not self-projecting, protective nari
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:07:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28022916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sergeant_Sporks/pseuds/Sergeant_Sporks
Summary: Nari’s usually very kind, and she doesn’t like causing others harm. But woe betide anyone who hurts her friends.A.K.A. Nari and Archie loom in the shadows behind Douxie to keep the Karens at bay
Series: Small Stories from the Big Apple [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2050809
Comments: 7
Kudos: 48





	Excuse You, but That's MY Wizard

**Author's Note:**

> It's not necessary to read the other parts of the series to understand this part.

“I made pasta today!”

Douxie gave Nari a smile, washing his hands. “Yeah? I’m sure it’s delicious.”

Nari beamed. Pasta was not hard to make, but learning to cook was harder than she’d thought it would be. Especially when she couldn’t reach the stove without the help of a chair. She noticed a giant red blotch on Douxie’s arm, and she frowned. Archie must have noticed it, too, because he nudged Douxie’s arm with his head.

“What happened?”

Douxie’s hand drifted to the blotch, and then he seemed to think better of it. “Oh, one of the newer employees spilled hot coffee on me. Wasn’t her fault, she was really upset about it.”

Nari’s hand glowed with healing magic, and she held it over Douxie’s arm, encouraging the burn to heal. A flash of memories washed over her, someone yelling, and a searing heat on her arm.

Douxie pulled his arm away. “Nari, we don’t want the Arcane order to track you down by your magic signature.”

“I know,” Nari sighed, “I just wanted to help.”

“You did. You made a very nice dinner. Let’s eat, okay?”

One pasta dinner later, Douxie was softly playing on his guitar, tuning it. Nari’s ears twitched, tracking the vibrations. She’d always liked music. Birdsong and the babbling brook were their own kind of music, but Douxie’s guitar strings made a beautiful melody and harmony. Nari closed her eyes, and let the notes swirl around her.

There was a loud _thump_ from the wall, like someone had kicked it, and a shout to “stop that disgusting noise!” Douxie made the guitar disappear, and stretched. “Guess it’s about time to turn in anyway. Don’t stay up late, you two.”

Nari and Archie both nodded, and Douxie was asleep in minutes. Nari shut off the lights—she and Archie could both see in the dark—and shot the wall a glare. Music wasn’t a ‘disgusting noise.’ Douxie did a really good job pretending he wasn’t upset, but Nari knew that he loved his music, and late after work was the only time he could play. She’d only started taking over cooking recently, and Douxie was too tired to play his guitar most of the time—and now, apparently when he was able, their neighbor insulted him and made him stop.

“He was lying,” Archie said softly from the kitchen.

Nari glanced at the familiar. “About what?”

“About the new employee spilling the coffee on him.”

“How do you know?”

“Trust me, Nari, when you’ve known someone for nine-hundred years, you learn to tell when they’re lying.”

Nari crept over to the mattress where Douxie was sleeping, her healing magic glowing around her. She held one hand out, and Douxie’s burn faded, bringing the memory flashes of screaming and burning again. She pulled her hand away when the burn was gone, and the flashes stopped. Douxie heaved a sigh of relief in his sleep, and Nari padded to the kitchen area.

“I’m sorry,” she said guiltily, “I know he doesn’t want me doing magic, but I didn’t want him to be in pain.”

Archie’s ears flicked. “If the order could track you by your magic signature, they would have done so already. You give it off all the time, not just when you’re consciously doing magic. Douxie’s just being cautious.”

Nari glanced back at Douxie. “What do you mean? That he was lying? Why would he lie? How else would he get burned?”

Archie went quiet for a moment. “Well, either he’s so tired that he wasn’t paying attention and spilled coffee on himself and he just doesn’t want us to worry about him, or…” his claws started poking out of his paws. “The less pleasant option.”

Nari didn’t like the sound of that. Douxie hiding his health from them was a bad enough problem. “What is the less pleasant option?”

“That someone did it on purpose,” Archie growled.

The very idea shocked Nari. To _Douxie_? Who could have possibly gotten mad enough at him to throw boiling coffee at him? And how could anyone do that to another person?! Nari might not want to kill the humans anymore, but sometimes she couldn’t fathom how horrible they could be to each other. “Why?!”

Archie shook his head. “I don’t know if it’s New York City, or working at a McDonalds. We never had this problem in Arcadia, at the café. The worst problem was a rude customer.”

Nari went quiet for a moment, glancing back at Douxie again. He shouldn’t have to do this. He might technically be hundreds of years old, but he was still basically a child, and he shouldn’t have to put up with people like that. “I am going to work with him tomorrow,” she announced.

“What? No, Nari—”

“He won’t know,” Nari promised, “We’ll be back before he is, and we can still make dinner—Archie, I just want to help him.”

“I know that.” Archie sighed. “There’s nothing I can say to talk you out of this, is there.”

“No.”

“Right. Then I guess I’ll come with you.”

Xxx

Douxie’s alarm went off, and Nari kept her eyes shut, pretending to be asleep. She heard Douxie get up, turn off the alarm, and get ready to leave. She heard the door open, then Douxie paused.

“Bye, guys,” Douxie said softly, and for a moment, Nari panicked, thinking he knew she was awake. “I’ll see you later.”

The door closed and locked, and Nari bounced up. “Archie?” she whispered, pulling out her jacket and beanie.

“I’m awake.”

Nari struggled to fit the beanie over her antlers and slipped into the jacket. She opened the window, twisting around and grabbing the fire escape, hauling herself onto it and climbing up the stairs towards the roof. Archie just turned into his dragon form and flew up.

“Archie!” she protested.

“What? It’s one in the morning, anyone who is up is either too tired to notice or care, or they’re drunk.”

Nari shook her head, clambering onto the room and squinting at the ground below. She spotted Douxie coming out of the building, and she followed his progress through the street, taking a running jump to the roof of the next building. If Douxie got on a subway, then she was in trouble, but she was relatively certain he walked all of the way to his Mc-Donalds.

Nari followed him through the streets, then slipped down another fire escape and leapt onto the roof of the Mc-Donalds, settling right above the open second window, so she could hear what was going on. Archie swooped down and landed next to her, turning back into his cat form. Occasionally she could hear Douxie’s voice taking customers’ orders, and another woman giving commands—she must be the manager. She started to nod off, then shook herself awake just in time to hear “It’s the Coffee Karen.”

The person in the second window backed away. “Awww, no. I don’t want to.”

“I can take the window,” Douxie’s voice offered.

“You sure about that?” the manager asked skeptically, “Dillon can handle it.”

“It’s fine,” Douxie assured her, “She’s rude to Dillon.”

“She is,” Dillon agreed, “But she’s rude to everyone—you don’t have to take her, Douxie. Ashley’s right, I just don’t like it.”

“Nah, I’ve got it, really. Here, you take the headset—lane two.”

Ashley sighed. “Someone put a fresh pot on.”

Nari peered over the edge of the roof as Douxie handed food out the window to a few more customers, reading the order out to them. What was a ‘Coffee Karen?’

Another car pulled up. “One fresh coffee?” Douxie asked pleasantly.

“It better be hot,” the woman in the car snapped, “You people always make it cold.” Nari already didn’t like her.

“Fresh brewed for you,” Douxie replied, handing the coffee out to her.

Her hand took it, and Nari heard her take a sip. “This is disgusting,” she snapped, “It’s cold! Are you trying to make fun of me?”

“Very sorry,” Douxie apologized, “We’ll get a new cup for you.” He turned back. “Dillon! Can you get the lady a fresh cup? Three Splenda, two cream. One moment,” he said to the woman, “We’ll have it right out.”

Nari glowered at the woman as she took off the lid of her “cold” coffee. Steam was rising from it—and she’d heard them say to put a fresh pot on. There was _no way_ that coffee was cold. The woman took another sip, shaking her head. “Lady? You, young man, are very rude.”

“It wasn’t my intention. Sorry again, ma’am.”

Nari’s blood boiled. He shouldn’t have to deal with this! He’d done nothing wrong!

Douxie handed the woman her new coffee, and the woman tried to hand the old cup back to him. “I don’t want this. Take it back.”

“I’m very sorry, but we can’t take food back through the window,” Douxie apologized, “Corporation policy.”

The woman’s face turned scarlet, and she yelled an obscenity, threatened to go to his manager—and then threw the cup at him, yelling that she would take her business to Starbucks. Douxie yelped in pain, and Archie hissed next to Nari, looking like he might just leap down there and claw her hand off.

Nari was seeing red—how _dare_ she—

The woman sped off. Archie turned into a pigeon and followed her car. Nari’s fists clenched and unclenched, as she heard voices down below.

“That’s it!” Ashley growled, “The next time she comes through here, I am CALLING THE COPS.”

Dillon was apologizing over and over, saying that he should have stayed in the window.

“It’s one thing to be rude!” Ashley continued, “It’s another think to ASSAULT my employees! TWICE.”

“You okay?” Dillon asked.

“I’m alright,” Douxie said shakily, “I just—wasn’t exactly expecting it. I mean, I didn’t think she’d do it _again_.”

“I hope she likes cold coffee,” a new voice said icily, “Because I used the old pot for her second cup.”

Douxie let out a startled laugh. “Courtney!”

“She deserves it,” Dillon muttered, “I’d say I wish she _would_ go to Starbucks, but then THEY’D have to deal with her.”

“Get some ice on that burn, and then I want you to stay on that headset,” Ashley ordered, “If she comes back through about that coffee, I don’t want her to be able to see you. I’ll take the headset for now while you take care of the burn—Dillon, back in hole, c’mon, we have other customers to take care of.”

Nari wanted nothing more than to jump through the window and heal Douxie, but she knew that she couldn’t do that—it would be awkward, to say the least, and life-threatening at the worst. She turned her attention back to the city, feeling for Archie’s aura. There. He’d stopped in Central Park. Nari jumped down while Dillon wasn’t looking and there were no cars around, and climbed up the fire escapes again. She didn’t have time to wait at crosswalks—Archie and the Coffee Karen might have moved on by then. She leapt from building to building, eventually finding her way to the park. Archie was still there, back in his cat form, and she climbed into a tree next to him. “Where is she?”

Archie nodded to a bench, where Coffee Karen was now sipping her cold coffee and nodding to herself, probably congratulating herself for another good round of injuring innocent fast food employees and spreading negativity in the world. Nari’s eyes narrowed to slits. “Archie… I want to make sure she’ll never hurt him—or any other poor worker—ever again. Will you help me?”

“With pleasure,” Archie hissed.

Nari grinned, but it was a harsh kind of grin. She could be kind, and the rest of the order tended to see her as naïve. But they always forgot that she was one of them—she was older than anything alive, and much, much stranger. There was a reason she’d been a part of the order—and Coffee Karen was about to find that out.

“Let’s find a nice, secluded spot, and when she comes through, I want you to turn into the biggest, scariest thing you can imagine.”

Archie leapt through the trees, looking for an area where they wouldn’t be seen. “But why would she come this way?”

“Leave that part to me,” Nari promised. She left Archie and headed back to where Coffee Karen was sitting, happily oblivious to the glowering demigod. Nari reached out to nature—this wasn’t magic. It was just… her. She’d always been attuned to nature, of course, and it was a simple question of persuasion to get nature to do what she wanted. Not magic.

Wind ruffled Coffee Karen’s hair, and she shivered, glancing around her. Nari encouraged the wind to blow just a _little_ harder, knocking the top off of Coffee Karen’s cup. She frowned, and Nari pushed a little harder. Coffee Karen stood up, looking back towards her car. No—she couldn’t leave.

 _Little friends_ , she called.

A couple of squirrels heeded her call, one of them scampering out of a tree and nipping Coffee Karen on the ankle. She yelped, moving away from it, and it chased her further, snapping its teeth. She was in the trees now, and the forest started to make her feel very unwelcome. Tree roots rose up to trip her, and branches seemed to sweep down to catch her hair and clothing. They seemed to be blocking out the early morning light, making the area dark and shadowy. And the wind kept pushing her on. The trees filled with creatures that Coffee Karen couldn’t see, could only see their eyes watching her. Crows cawed at her, and owls hooted. A cacophony of nature that shouldn’t be happening, but was, as Coffee Karen stumbled onwards, pushed by the wind.

And then the growling started. _Something_ was stalking towards Coffee Karen. Something big. A massive wolf, the size of a bear, with glowing red eyes, snarling, snapping its jaws.

Coffee Karen stumbled back with a scream, but the sound was snatched up by the wind, and would have been drowned out by the animals, anyway.

Nari slipped out of the trees behind Archie, and the cacophony stopped, leaving only the sound of Coffee Karen’s panicked half-sobbing breathing. Archie stopped his advance, and Nari stood next to him, hidden by the shadows of the trees.

“I’ve been watching you,” she said softly.

“Please,” Coffee Karen sobbed, “What do you want?!”

“You’re cruel to those around you,” Nari continued, “You think of other people, especially those who are below your social status, as lesser. You treat them like slaves, or animals.”

“I’m sorry,” Coffee Karen stuttered, “I’m sorry, I am, please don’t hurt me!”

“I will be watching you,” Nari threatened, “If you do not change your ways…”

“I will,” Coffee Karen promised, hiccupping, “I will, I will!”

“Good. But if I see you mistreat one of your fellow human beings again…” The birds started up again, and Nari slipped away as Coffee Karen’s head whipped around. Coffee Karen stumbled out of the trees, running for her car. Nari beamed.

“Good job!”

The trees seemed to perk up, and the wind ruffled her hair. The birds and squirrels went back to their usual routines, and Archie turned back to his normal cat form.

“You don’t think we caused her lasting mental damage, do you?”

Xxx

Douxie hesitated near the door, wondering how he was going to explain the burn on his face and neck to Nari and Archie.

Before he could figure it out, the door opened, and Nari wrapped her arms around him, tilting her head back so that her antlers wouldn’t stab him in the face.

“Thank you,” she said.

Douxie felt a warm bubble in his chest. “For what?” he laughed.

“For working so hard for us,” she replied, letting him go.

Archie raised one eyebrow—he hadn’t fooled his familiar for a second, had he? “What happened today? The new employee again?”

Douxie hesitated, then decided to go with a bit of truth. “Had a bit of a run-in with a customer. Won’t happen again, swear. My manager isn’t going to let her come through our drive through again.”

Nari held out a glowing hand, and this time, Douxie let her heal his face. “Poor Douxie,” she murmured, “They must have been really horrible.”

Douxie closed the door behind him. “What have you two been doing all day?”

They exchanged conspiratorial glances that made Douxie nervous. “Nothing,” they said at the same time.

Xxx

Douxie was whistling when he got back from work the next day, and he started playing on his guitar, ignoring their neighbor’s shouts to stop. Nari and Archie glanced at each other.

“Good day?” Archie questioned.

“Hm? Yeah, this person came in, and usually she’s very rude, but she apologized today, and she even tried to tip us! McDonalds doesn’t let us take tips, but it was a nice gesture.”

Nari and Archie gave each other another look, a very, _very_ satisfied one. They’d see how long Coffee Karen’s attitude lasted, but for now, it was worth it. There would be other Coffee Karens, but this one, at least, wouldn’t bother Douxie anymore.

Douxie strummed another chord, and then went to answer the door with a goofy grin as their neighbor came to yell at them. With another strum of his guitar, the man dropped off to sleep, and Douxie closed the door again, playing as loudly as he wanted.

Nari grinned, the music swirling around her, Douxie’s magic making the notes actually float in the air. Definitely worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> Moral of the story: be nice to fast food employees, you don't know what they've already been through today. And/or if they have an ancient being of primal magic following them.


End file.
